https://funniesjokes.com/golf-jokes/
Golf is one of the Most Important and followed game of the
world where players need to put a ball in to a small hole in some shorts, this
descriptions of golf is looking bore and mentally not attractive that’s why
golfers need some golf jokes to stay their mind relax and focus on game.
There are many types
of jokes are available to make you laugh but most important part of jokes is if
the jokes is related to your way of life or your profession or your daily
routine, because these types of jokes make you more happy and laughter than
other jokes, such as golf jokes for a golf players,
Here are some most attractive and extremely laughable golf
jokes which make you happy for a long time and give you great relaxation in
your desperations.
Drowning your sorrows
After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake
as he walked despondently up the 18th.
He looked at his caddie and said, “I’ve played so badly
all day, I think I’m going to drown myself in that lake.”
The caddie, quick as a flash, replied, “I’m not sure you
could keep your head down that long.”
The fisherman
What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
When a golfer lies, he doesn’t
have to bring anything home to prove it.
The right club?
A hacker was playing so badly that his caddie was getting increasingly exasperated.
On the 11th, his ball lay about 160 yards from the green
and as he eyed up the shot, he asked his caddie, “Do you think I can get there
with a 4-iron?”
“Eventually,” replied the caddie, wearily.
Priorities
A four ball watched, intrigued, as a lone player played
up short of the green they were on. As they teed off on the next they noticed
him quickly chip on and putt out, before running up to their tee.
Sensing their bewilderment, he said, “Sorry, do you mind if I play through – I’ve just
heard that my wife has had a terrible accident and may not make it!”
Mexico
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of
Juan Gonzalez.
‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.
‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.
‘A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?’
‘I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.’
The married couple
As a couple approaches the altar, the groom tells
his wife-to-be, “Honey, I’ve got something to confess: I’m a golf nut, and
every chance I get, I’ll be playing golf!”
“Since we’re being honest,” replies the bride, “I have to
tell you that I’m a hooker.”
The groom replies, “That’s okay, honey. You just need to
learn to keep your head down and your left arm straight.”
Derick A. Pindroh:
A man was
addressing the ball when an announcement came over the loud-speaker: "Will
the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the Ladies' tee box."
The man backs away,
a little distracted, then approaches his ball again. As he does, the same
announcement comes over the loud-speaker: "Will the gentleman on hole
number one please not hit from the Ladies' tee box."
The man is getting
irritated now, and after backing away from his shot, approaches his ball one
more time. This time the announcement came: "We really need the gentleman
on hole number one to move off of the Ladies' tee box!"
To which the man
turns around and yells: "And I really need the announcer to shut up and
let me play my second shot!"
Howard P.
Curtis:
Four old men went
into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf.
The pro asked,
"Did you guys have a good game today?"
The first old guy
said, "Yes, I had three riders today."
The second old guy
said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five."
The third old guy
said, "I had seven riders, the same as last time."
The last old man
said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today."
After they went
into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about
their game went to the pro and said, "I've been playing golf for a long
time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a
rider?"
The pro said,
"A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf
cart and ride to it."
Dom Smith:
A guy on vacation
finishes his round, goes into the clubhouse. The head pro says, "Did you
have a good time out there?"
The man replied
"Fabulous, thank you."
"You're
welcome," said the pro. "How did you find the greens?"
Said the man:
"Easy. I just walked to the end of the fairways and there they were!"
Ralph Schiefer: Last words of a golfer standing in the woods? "I can see a
gap."
Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your
advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on
me. The usual signs. Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife
has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I
ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't
know them."
I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming
home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject
with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last
night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight,
I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view
of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the
girls".
It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I
noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack
right by the club head.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it
back to the pro shop where I bought it?
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